We have a blog? And the Jazz are still playing? Damned if I knew.
So, since the last time I live-blogged, the Jazz have blown up, AK's been relegated to his 6 shots/gm 2006/2007 edition, the team has reverted to a Deron/Boozer focus that excludes all other players, Jerry Sloan has revealed himself to be an asshole, and the Jazz have turned into a .500 team.
What a surprise.
On the bright side, personal heartthrob Kyle Korver is now on the team. He's dreamy.
-First thing I hear when I turn on the TV: "Six is not a big number right now." I'll assume this is sports-related and is not the product of a debate on the relative "bigness" of six. I'll go out on a limb here and say it's bigger than five.
-Boler: "Andre Miller having a career year from the floor." Pop-up: "FG%: 49.4." God bless the NBA.
-The eight top headlines on Yahoo's NBA page include the following:
- Kings F Artest out 3 to 4 weeks
- O'Neal, Williams Sit Out Again for Heat
- Lakers' Odom Suspended for Flagrant Foul
- Pacers G Tinsley Sidelined Again
- Sonics Lose Without Durant, Wilcox
First, is anyone actually playing in the NBA? And second, someone had a thesaurus.
-The Morris Almond interview just ended with Creepy Mormon Interviewer Guy telling Almond, "At least it keeps you oiled up, right?" To get that thought out of his head, Almond's probably going to call up Dee Brown and grab a few six-packs and a stripper.
-And the first two points of the game are scored over Carlos Boozer. He did yell, though, so at least he feels bad.
-Boone just had a stroke, I think. "And an early...hit a three...for fifty dollars...Credit Union..."
-Ball clearly out off of AK, Violet Palmer signals the ball to Utah with authority. I think I'd rather have Tim Donaghy reffing.
-Memo just pump-faked and took a step toward the basket for a travel, chest-thumped and pointed at Giricek afterwards.
-I think Brewer had a collagen injection.
-Jazz shooting 86% from the floor to start the game, according to Boler. Otherwise known as 6-7.
-Went to Sam's Club today. Turns out you can buy Hot Pockets in bundles of 17. And for the life of me, I can't figure out how they pack the 17th without making the box asymmetrical.
It makes no sense.
-Boler's already picked the Diamond Play of the Game halfway through the first quarter. Having seen bits of the last week's games, I can see why he doesn't think it'll get any better.
-Giricek and Harpring check into the game with a mixed reaction. I'll assume the boos are for Harpring.
-One play, one Harpring fumble fingers, one fall, and one alley-oop fastbreak for the other team. I HAVE missed watching this team.
-The guy in the Geico commercial with Michael Winslow looks like the lovechild of Andre Agassi and Phil Collins.
-Giricek has made three horrible plays but is at least being treated as a man.
-Boone: "It looks like he was going to pass the ball but they're going to give him two shots. Look, he's going to pass the ball, and they're going to give him two shots." Boler: "*comment*" Boone: "Yeah, it looked like he was going to pass the ball, but the officials are going to give him two shots...passing the...*trails off*"
I'm not making this up.
-Jason Hart's shot makes it look like he's trying to make his 18-footers 16.5-footers.
-End of first quarter, Jazz up 24-20. Four is not a big number.
