Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Jazz Media Day in the Life

With Media Day rapidly approaching, there is a lot of anticipation of how things may go. With recent events, both Jazz related and non-Jazz related, what if the two converged?

First question to Ronnie Brewer....Ronnie, why is it that some players don't seem to learn how to play in the league?

Ronnie: “I personally believe, that N.B.A. players, are unable to do so, because uh, some, people out there, in our league don’t have maps.and uh…I believe that our education like such as in South Alabama,and the Washington,everywhere like such as…and, I believe they should uh,our education over here,in the N.B.A. should help the N.B.A. or should help South Alabama,and should help the Washington and Canadian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

Interviewer: .................Thank you Ronnie.

Question for Mehmet Okur: Memo, the treatment of AK has been fairly harsh lately by fans and media. Do you have any thoughts?

Memo: How friggin dare anyone out there make fun of Andrei after all he has been through. He has a crazy wife. He had two friggin kids. His wife turned out to be a user, a weirdo and now he's going through a trade demand. All you people care about is….. readers and making money off of him. HE’S A HUMAN! What you don’t realize is that Andrei is making you all this money and all you do is write a bunch of crap about him. He hasn’t performed on court in years. His request is to “give me more” for a reason because all you people want is MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE. LEAVE HIM ALONE! You are lucky he even played for you BASTARDS! LEEEAVE AANNDDRREEII ALLLLLONE!…..Please. The media talked about professionalism and said if Andrei was a professional he would’ve pulled it off no matter what. Speaking of professionalism, when is it professional to publically bash someone who is going through a hard time. Leave Andrei Alone Please…. Leave Andrei Kirilenko alone…right now….I mean it.

It appears that Andrei Kirilenko wants to ask a question.

Kirilenko: Yes, I would like to ask Coach why he has not won any titles. I have won a title, now. Coach, it is thought that you are among the best coaches in the league, but you have not won anything.

Sloan: I am aware of that.

Kirilenko continues: You make a lot of money but have not won. What would you attribute..

Security guards arrive.

Kirilenko: I'm not finished...thank you for turning off my mic. No, I'm not leaving.

Guards wrestle Kirilenko to the ground.

Kirilenko: What are you doing? No! NOOOO! DON'T TASE ME BRO!

Buzzing is heard.

Kirilenko: OW! OW! OOOOWWWWWWW!
Memo: LEAVE HIM ALONE, YOU BASTARDS! IS THAT NECESSARY?


I can't wait for Media Day.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's pretty vanilla...

Anonymous said...

Seriously, YB, you are my favorite Jazzfanz and Harpringsucks poster.

Sirkickyass said...

I always knew you were fromRussia

Anonymous said...

There come a time when every chile gots to get his pickin', ya hear? Buffalo wings or country yarn, ain't no matter. Nobody ain't said when the cows'll graze sheep for huckleberry hot cakes, no sir!

elgon1 said...

I hate Kirilenko. I am spanish and Rusia won us. The best is Pau Gasol. Who do you prefer Boozer or Okur?
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