The shooting guard comeback tour

There's something in the water in Boca Raton. This summer tons of retired NBA players such as Anfernee Hardaway, Allan Houston, Reggie Miller, and Doug Christie (and more importantly Jackie Christie) have publicly contemplated a comeback; presumably after realizing that outside of their NBA careers they have virtually nothing to offer to society. Stunningly, some Utah Jazz fans have actually advocated giving Houston and Christie a chance even though we already have a 6'11" All-Star Turkish shooting guard. Plus he's at least a decade younger than all of the comeback candidates and still looks younger than Greg Oden. Despite this reality, people still seem to want to give these guys a chance on the theory that shooting doesn't deteriorate with age (although apparently they forget that in order to get space to shoot you need to be able to run and jump, which of course does decline with age).

Harpringsucks wants to know why, as long as we're throwing the switch on the wayback machine why don't we go even farther back. After all if shooting doesn't deteriorate with age these guys should still be good.

Jeff Hornacek - Most recently with the Utah Jazz

Pros: Great nickname; His kids should finally be old enough to understand why that whole "I'm petting the side of my face to say 'hi' to you while I'm shooting free throws" is utterly ridiculous; increases the Jazz "whiteness factor" (an important issue for selling tickets in the Salt Lake market); he also won the 2-ball competition during all-star weekend one year and everyone knows 2-ball is HOT right now for marketing purposes.

Cons: His knees are currently softer than your grandmother's jello salad; would probably prefer playing with the Suns; Sloan would probably try to play him at Small Forward on the theory that he hustles more than AK.

Michael Cooper - Most recently with the Los Angeles Lakers

Pros: Current coaching position with Los Angeles Sparks makes him ideal candidate to help AK with emotional issues; positive role model as he appeared in 1980s era Jaime Escalante videos.

Cons: May infect locker room as he's been in close contact with Magic Johnson; called Alley-oop plays run for him the "coop-a-loop" which even John Amaechi thinks is too gay for sports.

Drazen Petrovic - Most Recently with New Jersey Nets

Pros: Most celebrated European player of his era; had a lot of game left when his career ended; short career means his legs don't have a lot of miles on them.

Cons: Dead, which means he'd only be marginally more useful than Jarron Collins

World B. Free - Most Recently with Houston Rockets

Pros: Fantastic name; dynamic scorer; won the (USBL) championship with the Miami Tropics; doesn't even need a nickname; flamboyant and colorful wardrobe;

Cons: None. Oh yeah, except that he's 54 freakin' years old. But we should totally sign this guy even if it prevents us from developing Ronnie Brewer, C.J. Miles, and even *shudder* Morris Almond.