Postcards from Hell: Second Quarter

-I'm surviving the heat thus far. I did have to leave the computer briefly when my bag of shredded lettuce burst into flame. Then again, I think heat stroke is setting in, since I think I just saw Harpring get a block.

-Wizards with their first second-chance points of the night, 20-15 Wiz. Team Excitement still working on their first first-chance points of the night.

-Dee Brown just had a nice drive against three defenders, culminating in a leaning push shot that didn't hit rim. He would actually be dropped by most baseball teams by now.

-First timeout in the second quarter, Harpring with a Leadership as he fouls DeShawn hard after the ball leaps from his hand. Sloan nods in approval. "Never let them see you hurt!"

-Michael Ruffin and DeShawn Stevenson on the court. If the Wizards signed John Crotty, they could have their own Team Excitement.

-29-25, Wizards, second timeout. Dee Brown really knows how to fill up a boxscore. 0 points, 0 rebounds, 0 blocks, 0 steals, and 1 assist, but I'm pretty sure that was a mistake.

-I'm pretty sure Darius Songaila's family tree is a V.

-Why ask Matt Harpring to inbound? Would you ask a mute to sing? Or a deaf man to listen? And how would you ask that deaf man? Do you know sign language?

-Sign of heat stroke #2: DeShawn Stevenson supposedly has 14 points in the first half. I distinctly remember Hot Rod singing DeShawn's praises while he was on the Jazz for getting 14 points in the course of a 5-game period.

-AK in paint: "MEMO!" Memo: "*pass*" AK: "Argh." Arenas: "*layup*"

-Hoffa and Miles come in for The Minute. Or, in this case, the Six-Point-Five Seconds. I expect greatness.

-Halftime. 41-35 Wiz. For a second, I thought Arenas was going to fake the inbound pass and then dribble it coast-to-coast for a layup. And he could get away with it, because he's awesome.

OK, I'm gonna go stick my head in the freezer for a half-hour. I feel like warm death.