Postcards from Hell: Intermission and Third Quarter

-I'm thinking of making a series of posts piggy-backing on The Pearl's Discovery Channel-centered expose on Fisher.

Futureweapons: "What IS the Harpring? Picture the worst bee-sting you've ever had. Now picture that sting in your eye. Times one million. And you just had your family murdered by sword in front of you. That would be a start."

-I have moved the fan into the window.

Current temperature: 83, with a windchill of 82.

-Deron Williams is the Stephen Baldwin of fast breaks. I had a funny comment to make that made that make sense, but I already forgot it.

-The Jazz need to feed AK in his comfort zone on offense: on a stepladder right under the basket, hands open, with a big funnel between him and the rim.

-AK with four fouls in the third quarter. Harpring time. This is normally the point where I turn the game off and enjoy a refreshing beverage. I hate live-blogging.

-Matt Harpring fouls Michael Ruffin. I like to think when that much suck comes in contact a baby black hole is born.

-Bordy in chat: "I think that Fish thinks that the ESA Organ is the shot clock. He always tries to get the shot off before the end of the song."

-The trivia question was brought to us by--if I'm not mistaken--"Legal Sea Foods." Sounds incredibly appetizing. "This seafood is so good it should be illegal." "Sorry, sir, but our sea foods are entirely legal." "FANTASTIC."

-Oh, yes, the score is 58-51 Wiz. It's been a real slobberknocker. Or a knobberslopper. Something that means a standard dull NBA game.

-Ruffin just fouled Boozer. It's like watching the last great Utah Jazz PF passing the torch to the next great one.

-Sequence: Harpring uses his "stumble defense" at the top of the key. He ends up standing between the three-point line and halfcourt, pretending he's still stumbling very slowly but looking back at the team. As a teammate gathers the rebound, his stumble turns into a full-fledged run towards his basket. Though Deron now has the ball on the left side of the opponents' three-point line, Harpring--cutting towards the basket--is waving both hands and screaming, finally breaking off and looking disgusted.

-Eddie Jordan is so disgusted with that play that he got two technicals so he wouldn't have to see any more. Derek Fisher is so disgusted he misses both free throws in shame. Actually, the latter part is probably more related to Fisher sucking.

-[/snark]Wow, what a quarter from Boozer.[snark]

-Wow, what a quarter from Harp.

-Dee Brown now 0-2 in the game. That has raised his FG% 23 points.

-Fisher takes it to the rack. You'd think he would learn how to share during his tenure on Reading Rainbow.

-71-70, Wiz. Reading Rainbow theme firmly stuck in head.

Take a look, it's in a book...