The Six Stages of Jazz Fandom

[note: the following doesn't necessarily pertain to tonight's game]

Denial: "Wait a minute. It's been seven minutes in the second quarter and AK still hasn't checked back in for Harpring. He has to be injured."

Anger: "HOW CAN YOU JUST PUT HIM IN FOR THE LAST THREE MINUTES OF THE QUARTER? AND FOR MEMO?"

Bargaining: "All right, Jerry, it's halftime. I swear, if you leave AK in for 24 minutes in the second half, I'll stop beating that Asian hooker I keep in the basement."

Depression: *watches fourth quarter lineup in silence*

Acceptance: "Well, it could be worse. Harp and Fisher could be signed for three more years."

Suicide