Playoff record: 1-2
Thinly-veiled digs from Sloan at AK since CryGate: ~7
Positive contributions from AK in the series: 2
Positive contributions from Fisher in the series:
Years the Rockets/Jazz Series Will Set the NBA Back: 27.4
Functional Motor Nerves in Jerry Sloan's Mouth: 3
Functional Motor Nerves in Harpring's Legs: 3
Boozer Acne Level: 4.2
It's go time.
-ESPN just showed the one guy in Utah that still wears an AK-47 jersey. Those should be 75% off in the Jazz store in a year.
-Oh great, Tim Legler is the color man. "I recommend they stand around the 3-point line, don't play defense, and generally act really really white."
Fisher: "Sweet!"
-Yao has the same facial hair configuration of all Computer Science students I know. I bet he has a Lvl. 60 Night Elf Druid.
-I wonder if the Jazz assign a guy for each game that sits on the baseline and yells "three seconds!" every time Yao catches the ball in the post. If so, he's certainly doing his job. Probably sits next to the guys that start yelling "RED!" when the shot clock hits 12.
-Just so you know, they're not guarding AK.
-Nice transition from the broadcasters. "Unforced error." "There's Fisher." I think we have a new nickname.
-Fisher would have gotten around that screen better than AK. And then he only would have had to jump five feet in the air to challenge the shot.
-9-6, Jazz, 8:06 to go in the quarter. AK stumbles a little heading to the bench, bursts into tears.
-T-Mac becomes the first person to describe his emotion when being picked by the Raptors as a "feeling of relief." Most people describe it as "Toronto who?"
-Oh, good scott, Fisher trips trying to go one-on-three which is described by the announcers as "splitting two defenders." I can't wait 'til he gets a charge and it's described as "splitting one defender."
-Deron has posted up on offense more often than AK.
-Who is not being guarded, by the way.
-Boozer gets called for an offensive foul. In total disgust, one male fan three rows back stands up, assumes an angry posture, and limp-wristedly waves a dark blue pom-pom at the ref. You go, girl.
-Fisher might be hurt. Crowd applauds as he stands up, but then subsides quickly when they realize he's not heading back to the bench.
-AK called for cheap foul. Pleads case to ref. Cries. Isn't guarded.
-Harp just participated in Houston's offensive set. Made the pass to the perimeter. Actually one of his better passes.
-Giricek and Harpring both in. Harpring on T-Mac, Giricek on Battier. Sloan nods in approval. His jaw stays in the same position.
-Fisher is now 0-2 with 4 FTA. Currently preparing statement for tonight's interviews where he commends himself for getting to the line. Final line prediction: 2-11 FGA, 7/8 FTA.
-Why do players switch positions after the first FTA? "Dude, I totally wasn't feeling it on the right side."
-They just called "travelling" fully 3 seconds after the infraction occurred. It's like Harpring's defense on three-pointers.
-Is anyone surprised Fisher tried to shoot that ball at the end of the quarter? Does the concept of passing just disappear when there are less than 30 seconds in a quarter? It's absolutely infuriating.
No funny in this post. Fisher sucks.
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