Time to start the second quarter.
Boozer is on fire and shooting at a Kobe like rate. The thought of him continuing to shoot 15 footers over Yao Ming though is making me feel slightly sick. Although that may be because I just accidentally chewed a cayenne pepper while eating General Tso's chicken (tastes surprisingly like defeat).
Matt Harpring just ran by the scorer's table with his trademark meticulously groomed hair. Mike Fratello is fondling his hairpiece self-conciously.
Yao gets a foul called on him and acts like a tank just ran over his dad in Tiananmen Square.
I just spent 20 seconds trying to figure out how to spell Tiananmen.
Skip to my Lou hits a 3, high-fives the professor, and calls a press conference to promote his video.
TNT shows a "total playoff wins" graphic with Sloan featured near the top. They graciously decide not to show a "total crushing playoff losses due to bad coaching" graphic.
Do you think Boozer looks at Juwan Howard and sees what he's going to look like in 15 years after he gets all his tattoos removed and grows a beard?
Boozer hits both free throws, the devil licks his lip and savors some of his soul.
Memo waves a cape and shouts "ole'!" while Yao gets an easy bucket.
Harp shoots and the ball goes off the front of the rim. Harp gives the equipment manager the stink-eye.
Yao inexplicably throws the ball straight up around Memo's arm. Memo is thrilled he now has the power to telekinetically block shots.
Kirilenko checks back into the game after signing an endorsement deal with Johnson and Johnson's "no more tears" line of shampoo and using the offical Utah Jazz Kleenex on the sidelines.
TNT, unimpressed with the basketball on the floor, decides to show a shot of the fountain outside. I feel strangely at peace.
Okur misses a shot. Shrugs it off and remembers what his wife looks like.
McGrady stares at the camera after getting fouled by AK's aura.
I'm convinced McGrady's lazy eye can see the future.
Okur blocks another shot by Yao Ming. He must have inhaled some of Marcus Camby's essence before the game.
Jeff Van Gundy lowers his head and shakes it after Yao picks up his third foul. I'd tell you what happened next but the glare off of Van Gundy's dome temporarily blinded me.
Harpring makes an uncontested lay-up.
Harpring makes an actually kind of impressive basket against McGrady. McGrady immediately feigns an injury on the side-line to protect his pride.
Fratello comments that Harpring is "the best" at playing physically. Harp responds by committing an egregious foul at the other end.
Charles Barkley just did a commercial for T-Mobile. It's unclear how many times they had to re-do the take because Charles ate his phone.
I just looked into McGrady's lazy eye and saw how I die. Spooky!
Battier hits a clutch three from the corner, speeding along his transformation into his generation's Bruce Bowen.
Derek Fisher throws the ball off the side of the backboard. Congratulates himself for gradually improving his accuracy.
Harpring falls over a full 2 seconds after the whistle is blown. Sloan praises him for showing veteran leadership.
Craig Sager wears a marigold jacket as part of the NBA Cares program. My self-esteem is going up while I think about how well I dress by comparison.
Carlos just winked into the camera while saying "Charles I'm stepping up for you baby." I think I just had a joygasm.
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1 comment:
Good luck with your final! I would take a Harpringsucks.com moratorium if I were you... :)
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