Live Blog 2: Quarter the Last

- I miss tater

- Around the league: Goliath lost to Billy's little brother tonight, 110-99.

- I'm going to have to have our statistician check on this, but I'm fairly sure the Jazz lead the league in "Poking the Rebound Out of Bounds"

- "Modern Marvels" covering Noah's Ark. How cool would it be to have been one of only a handful of guys to survive a world catastrophe, then to have God tell you, in so many words "go ye forth, and get busy! We need more people, pronto!" only to have your excitement dashed by realizing that every female that survived is either your sister or your mom.

- Deron taking over. He realizes that it's up to him to re-populate the scoreboard. (Sorry, I had to pretend the last post was Jazz-related, somehow)

- Harpring with the layup. Turns around, scowls "let's go!" to the rest of his team. Grabs a rebound, and barrels down the court at full-shuffle, eventually throwing the ball off of his own teammate's foot.

- AK invisible here in the fourth quarter. Except to the "bench cam".

- Jazz take the lead. McMillan with that same confused look that he and his entire team had when Bryon Russell took over in the Jazz-Sonics Conference Finals. He's just waiting to wake up.

- 3 minutes left. Time to start taking bets on what will happen on the final play of the game. I'm guessing that with the game tied, AK gets in the game for defense, and the Jazz grab a rebound with 5 seconds left in the game. Sloan immediately calls a timeout to get Fisher back in the game.

- I think I just learned how to say "who, me?" in Croatian.

- 3 seconds left on the shot clock for Portland, Deron backs off Outlaw to let him have a more open shot. Must be an extension of the "shooting with the shot clock winding down is rash, and will result in bad things" theory. It works, as Outlaw misses, and Boozer gets free throws on the other end. Sloan is a visionary.

- Announcement: If this goes to overtime, tater is taking back over.

- Now I need to learn how to say "you suck" in Croatian.

- David about to get his lunch money stolen. Looks like tater is safe. For now.

- R.I.P., Corporal Andrei

I feel obligated to wrap up this debacle with some sort of conclusion. For inspiration, I'm switching back to the History Channel, where they are discussing candy. They ask "so where exactly DO companies like this find flavoring for 'dirt' and 'vomit' jelly beans?" I'm tired, so I'll insert some hilarious comment here later, tying the feeling I had for the last two hours of watching this game into the answer to that question. Until then, I bid you Harpring Sucks.