Don't Blame the Tiger

October 3, 2003 - A Day That Will Live in Infamy. Flamboyant tiger boy Roy Horn was mauled by Montecore, a seven year old white tiger. Roy and his "business" partner Siegfried Fischbacher had worked with many tigers throughout the years without incident. It is not known what made Montecore "deviate". Well, as Chris Rock said about it "That tiger didn't go crazy. That tiger went TIGER!"

April 30, 2007 - A Night That Will Live in Infamy. Anti-flamboyant tractor boy Jerry Sloan was attacked by fans and media after he removed Andrei Kirilenko, who had a big assist and an offensive rebound in the previous minute of play, and inserted Derek "Montecore" Fisher into a playoff game with his team trailing by two points and 20 seconds left in regulation. Fisher was called for an offensive foul eight seconds later as he predictably drove the lane and crashed into the first defender who got in his way. Many fans, including myself, wanted Fisher's head on a platter. Upon further reflection, I can't fault Fisher. Fisher went FISHER!

There was no doubt in any rational Jazz fan's mind that the second that Montecore Fisher was inserted was the second that all hope was lost for the Jazz to steal a road game and have a chance to win at home. We have seen Fisher make bad decision after bad decision, often during crunchtime. Fisher does what Fisher does. Which is to make a career out of one lucky desperation made shot. Chris Mullin fell for it. Every national TV broadcaster doing Jazz games has fallen for it. Kevin O'Connor fell for it. Jerry Sloan still falls for it. I even fell for it until I remembered that Fisher was a guy who lost his job to Gary Payton when Payton clearly had nothing left in the tank. Hell, the entire NBA Players' Association fell for it. Montecore Fisher has them all fooled regarding his leadership skills. Montecore Fisher is Chance the Gardner from "Being There".

Fisher has always been about bravado. His face has always exuded competitive fire.

In other words, he doesn't know any better. Jerry "Roy" Sloan played with the tiger and the tiger went tiger and bit him. Don't blame the tiger. Blame the handler. Hopefully, "Roy" learned his lesson and will keep Montecore Fisher caged for the 4th quarter. It will save him from going Fisher. It will protect us from seeing Montecore take the franchise in his grasp and drag it away like a ragdoll. Most of all, it will keep us sane. It is the humane thing to do.

Fisher, er, Harpring Sucks.