Quarter 4: Tater wimps out of doing the whole game

AK got his 5th foul by breathing heavily on Andris Biedritch.

Stephen Jackson has been incredible in this game. The night the Warriors get eliminated from the playoffs he may honestly commit a homicide. Let's just say I wouldn't recommend being a groupie at the Warriors team hotel that night.

I'm trying to figure out what Al Harrington's neck tattoo says. As far as I can tell he just got a tattoo designed to make his neck look it's permanently dirty. I'm sure his mother loves that.

Boozer just had a ridiculous block on Al Harrington when his back was turned. Doug Collins referred to it as "Boozer takes him backdoor." Boozer's lawyer calling press conference to deny allegations.

Fisher stares at Baron Davis' eyes with lust in his heart.

Dee Brown just had the single best expression I've ever seen from a man in a suit looking at the action on the floor with no chance of coming in the game. In short, it can be summed up as "No one's gonna piss test me after the game, so I got RIDICULOUSLY high before coming out for the 4th quarter."

In fairness, the Jazz just pissed away a 4 point lead in 30 seconds. I wish I was stoned too.

Collins is clearly going on a trip down memory lane from his last trip to Thailand. Describes Harpring as "playing down low."

Lady Kicky just kissed me out of appreciation of my dirty mind. I feel like you should know that someone appreciates me on Mother's Day.

This reminds me, Lady Kicky and I are stunned that tater didn't mention Boozer's ridiculous "I love you Mom!" interview at half time. The last time I saw that much love on his face he was talking about Charles Barkley.

I'm convinced the more ads I see for "Shrek the Third" the worse the movie is going to be.

In a world in which the armed forces are having problems attracting recruits, somehow the Marines description of themselves as "the few" doesn't seem so exclusive anymore. More like "please God we don't have enough people!"

They just had a Derek Fisher career highlights reel. It was 80% commentary and post-shot reactions to his two big moments in his career.

Lady Kicky thinks AK has a "*beeped*-up nose." I'd hate to hear what she has to say about Don Nelson.

Okur just hit a three, which led to an incredible fan reaction from someone in a "We Believe" shirt. It can only be described as the face you make about 30 seconds after your proctologist puts on the rubber gloves.

This just in: Golden State is missing lots of critical free throws in crunch time. I'm sure this has never hurt them before.

For some reason the Golden State fans don't cheer when the Jazz play fast and hit lots of threes.

Andrei Kirilenko just threw an alley-oop pass. Somewhere out there Mark Jackson is taking credit for this.

Have you ever met anyone who actually LIKED Sprites "Sub-lymonal advertising" campaign? It makes the Geico caveman commercials look downright coherent and clever.

AK's alley-oop pass was just given the "Lamisil performanceof the night." It wasn't just a good pass, it cured disease!

Fisher is actually playing well. In related news up is now down, left is now right, and Ann Coulter just endorsed Al Sharpton for president.

Doug Collins just made approximately the 121.5th reference to Fisher playing with a heavy heart.

I love that Coors light is attempting to shed its "Discount beer" image by getting athlete sponsors in non-major sports. God knows aging track and field athletes from the 90s and the World's Strongest Man Winner from 2001 really inspire that 18-35 demographic. OOOPS I mean 21-35 demographic, Coors would never try to sell to under-age drinkers.

Moses took Sig's hockey analogies too literally and attempted to check Fisher into the boards. The refs looked the other way.

Okur let Jackson get an easy 2 rather than have him shoot the three. I've seen turnstiles do a better job at stopping people.

Stephen Jackson dives out of bounds. I think he heard police sirens.

Al Harrington grabs Okur by the elbow and spins him around. As far as can tell the refs called the "Do-si-do" violation.

Although the referring has been horrible in this series (against both sides) the primary difference has been that the Warriors complain everytime the refs put the blindfolds on, while the Jazz just giggle.

Jason Richardson is trying out for the WWE: clotheslines Okur. This only confirms my "someone will die the night the Warriors get eliminated from the playoffs" theory.

With roughly a minute to go the Golden State fans show how much they believe by streaming out of the arena en masse.

The Jazz win to take 3-1 series lead. Which leads us to the things I've learned from this game:

#1. The media-friendly "run and gun" style of play the Warriors are famous for has lots of emphasis on the "gun" portion. Apparently when they get a little rattled Baron Davis throws elbows at the ear of his defender and Jason Richardson will play defense via the elbow to the throat. Funny how THAT won't make Sportscenter tonight.

#2. Pam Oliver asks amazingly tough questions in the post game interviews like "How was that for you?" Stellar journalism.

#3. Apparently Derek Fisher has had some sort of personal trouble lately. I have no idea why I didn't know about this before. The media should cover this. We need to know.

#4. Harpring sucks.