Game Three: Hey, They Might Not Screw This Up!

Tater: OK, first important question. Does the slightly ethnic member of the PussyCat Dolls even put any effort into lip-syncing? She just mouthed "right now," and it looked more like "mwah mwah." Maybe she talks like one of Charlie Brown's teachers.

Sirkickyass: I'm really enjoying this commercial where they splice basketball clips with promos for the Transformers movie. It makes me hope Matt Harpring might transform into a good basketball player.

Tater: For that to work, I think they'd have to combine NBA footage with clips from The Miracle Worker. Speaking of which, Brent Barry just blew by the whole Utah Jazz team for an easy layup. Brent Barry.

Sirkickyass: Derek Fisher just hit another three pointer. Apparently the Jazz hired an exorcist over the long break.

Tater: It's the fourth quarter. He never misses in the fourth quarter. It's like that part in Anchorman: 90% of the time, he hits 40% of the time.

Sirkickyass: I bet Gordan Giricek wears Sex Panther brand cologne.

Tater: Hey, the Jazz might actually win this game. I don't know how to handle this with my typical snark and aplomb.

Wait, they just showed some Jazz fans outside the building. I think I can manage.

Sirkickyass: I think Duncan and Parker go to the same barber.

Tater: Nair? Fisher with the clutch layup and foul. Jazz up by 14. And Duncan just picked up his fifth foul. It will take some serious finagling for the Jazz to lose this game. And I wonder if that's how you spell "finagle." Or if it's a word.

Sirkickyass: Greg Poppovich didn't bother wearing a tie to tonight's game. IzeofLight is unimpressed.

Tater: Did you wear a tie on your date?

Fisher just bricked an alleyoop to Boozer on the side of the rim, but I'm not so sure it wasn't a shot. And Harpring just blocked a shot. I think all we need in this game is for Hoffa to hit a three-pointer and I can check myself into a sanitarium.

Sirkickyass: I go on all my dates in a full tuxedo. I hope to dazzle them with my attire to distract them from my face.

Coors beer slogan: "we refuse to change." I think we just learned what Jerry Sloan drinks.

Tater: Really? I thought he drank this:

Sirkickyass: Which brings us to Larry Miller's wine choice:Tater: Fisher completely creams Tony Parker, and San Antonio responds by inserting Beno Udrih. AK should be very careful with his knees for the next few minutes.

Sirkickyass: ABC runs a "first four picks in 2005 draft" graphic. Milwaukee embarassed by the Andrew Bogut pick at this point.

Tater: I find it amusing that you point out how Milwaukee must be embarrassed by the Bogut pick and ignore the Hawks' selection of Marvin Williams. It's just a given with the Hawks. And did Matt Bonner just take out Deron Williams? That would be like Clint Eastwood getting taken out by Blacksmith #2 in a western.

Sirkickyass: I think it's more like Charles Bronson getting taken by surprise in the Deathwish films.

Tater: Good, I was worried we weren't going to fulfill our movie reference quota by the end of the night. So, Jazz are going to win this game. Um...what do we do now?

Sirkickyass: Well since you brought up Clint Eastwood I'm getting the best western ever loaded up for after the game: Paint your wagon!

Tater: I wonder how many references to the powder blue shirts there will be in the papers tomorrow.

Sirkickyass: This is true garbage time. Matt Bonner, Rafael Arujao, Ronnie Brewer are all on the floor and Mark Jackson is starting to take over on the announcing end.

Tater: Oh, give Mark Jackson a chance. I think he's shown he can lead a crew.

Did they just say Deron Williams suffered a Stinger?

Wanted for questioning:

Sirkickyass: The jazz are up by 25, there's only 30 seconds left and people aren't streaming for the exits. There really is nothing to do in Utah!

Tater: Jazz win by 26. Uptimism reigns supreme. Somewhere in the Energy Solutions Arena sits YB, tears of joy streaming down his timeworn face. Spontaneously, a song of joy bubbles up from his soul:

"Right now!"

Night, kids.