Sunday, May 20, 2007

Second Quarter: Eyeing my cooling yakisoba hungrily

This pussycat dolls song only gets worse the more times they play it. Why can't they play a good song, like "Holy Diver" by Dio?

I like how the ad for the NBA Store features jerseys for players that are no longer in contention. At least the NBA finally worked the Dwayne Wade and Shaq ads out of the rotation.

Madame Kicky and I are arguing about whether Holy Diver or Styx's "Come Sail Away" would be a better song. As much as I like Pirate Anthems, I'm convinced that "The Very Beast of Dio" should win every time.

How much money do you think ABC would have paid to have this game be a Warriors-Suns broadcast instead?

I thought the Jazz were playing 4 on 5, then I realized Brent Barry was in this camera's blind spot. I hate ABC.

Can anyone explain to me why Finley starts over Brent Barry? Or Manu Ginobili? I mean, never mind, those maneuvers certainly make it harder for the Jazz to win.

Mark Jackson is apparently talking in the Karl Malone voice from "The Man Show."

Mark Jackson is also talking about how Duncan plays basketball better than most "young guys." I didn't realize that ten year veterans should be compared to the young guys. Maybe Jackson is trying to get on an NBA roster next season by saying he's a viable veteran since Duncan is still a young guy.

God, I like these teams and I'm still more interested by Madame Kicky's paper on evidence spoilation.

David Robinson is in the house. He's also the only NBA player I've ever seen that didn't gain 50 pounds in the first 3 years after his playing career ended.

This game feels like we're down by a lot more than 7 points.

Utah appears to be playing under the four passes before every shot "Jimmy Chitwood Rule."

I firmly believe Arena Football is getting higher ratings today.

You know, Harpring's waving his arms wildly. I think he might be open.

Madame Kicky keeps asking "is it halftime yet?" I think she really wants me to take her to Starbucks."

Fun Fact: Utah is shooting 27.6% on the game and San Antonio is shooting 58.3%. How we're only losing by 9 points is anyone's guess. That this game is close is entirely smoke and mirrors.

Fun Fact #2: I may be reduced to plucking out my own eyes rather than watching this game if it keeps going this way.

Fun Fact #3: At this rate, the Sportscenter re-cap will focus on the "great defense" played by the Spurs rather than the truth of "Utah clearly is playing with the house's money, and knows they are a long shot to win the series."

Mark Jackson points out that the Spurs are winning because "their star players are playing like stars." Apparently Mark Jackson went through the prophet of the obvious graduate degree program.

I miss Stephen Jackson already. Life just isn't the same without him.

Mark Jackson discusses the offensive player "having a conversation with the defender without even talking" and then reverted into mimicking the conversation in 2nd person. He needs to be in the studio with Kenny and Charles NOW.

Utah down by 16. On the plus side, Boozer scored his first field goal with only three minutes left in the first half.

Mark Jackson just called the Spurs "a bunch of scientists." Other than Tim Duncan, did any of them graduate from college?

Deron Williams looks legitimately scared. Like a 14 year old kid seeing his first naked woman.

Joey Fatone is on Dancing with the Stars? Don't you have to be a "star" to be on that show?

Deron manages not to prematurely ejaculate his free throws.

I'm convinced Baby Tim Duncan had a mobile over his crib with tiny backboards on strings.

Whoa! Jeff Van Gundy is an announcer for this game. I didn't hear him say anything for 30 minutes and now he's talking all the time. Someone must have told him he has to comment to get paid.

Believe it or not, San Antonio actually has more turnovers than we do. Things are not looking good for our improvement.

You know what's going to make me feel better after a terrible half of basketball? Orange Mocha Frappuccinos!

The Jazz are walking back to the locker room a little gingerly at half time.

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