Second-to-Last Game: Quarter Two

-Jarron Collins is 1/1 from the field. This game needs more Collins.

-My parents visited today and brought me an eight-pound bag of french fries. Nothing says I love you like eight pounds of fries. Even better, at some point in a few weeks, I'll be able to finish a plate of fries and think, "hey, I ate eight pounds of fries in the past few weeks." It will be a proud moment.

-At one point, I think the Spurs were starting to get a bit flustered, but they just looked around at their pale-blue surroundings and calmed down. Well done, Utah Jazz Public Relations staff.

-Giricek versus Ginobili. Suddenly, the action stops as they gaze into each other's eyes.

Giricek: "Manu? Manu Ginobili!"
Manu: "Gordan! My long-lost cousin!"
Giricek: "I've looked for you so long, and now I've found...whoop!" *falls for no reason*
Ginobili: *hits three*

-Hey, the Jazz are making a run. Surely this will hold up over the course of the quarter.

-I think at this point, there could be a whole series of paintings titled: "San Antonio Player Hits Three as Matt Harpring Barely Enters the Picture."

-Michael Finley auditions for the painter, but forgets to hit the three.

-ABC commercials just told me American Inventor is back. When was American Inventor here? And what would it take to make me care?

-I wonder when Tony Parker will realize that he's nothing more than a glorified PR-representative for a weasel-looking bad actress.

-Whoa, the Jazz almost ran a fast break. Sure, it didn't end in a layup or anything, but it ended up with one player angled at the basket with the ball in his hand. It's the little victories.

-Harpring fell down as Deron threw him a pass from five feet away. I don't even know why that happened. I'd like to think Harpring's knee joints are actually mousetraps, ready to snap at any time.

-TaterBro, immediately after signing on: "first time i've gotten to see harpring do the falling down for no reason at all deal"

-Harpring catches the ball, pump-fakes, forces Duncan in the air, makes the layup, picks up Duncan's third foul, vanishes as Universe loses semblance of order.

-Ooh, a commercial based on Tron. Surprised Disney hasn't rushed out a remake for that movie yet.

-Holy crap, how many times will ABC run this Harpring Football Family graphic? I'm starting to suspect Harpring's family personally sends out E-mails to every announcer before the game to make sure they get that last little bit of media attention.

-Francisco Elson looks like Kevin Willis after a bout with bulimia.

-JVG demanding Giricek "stand up and take a hit." I don't think that's the tactic JVG used when he took on Alonzo Mourning.

-Oberto gets open by moving diagonally two squares, avoiding "Slick."

Obscure.

-It's probably a bad sign when Tony Parker is able to impose his will physically on your starting PG.

-Tater's Blogging Thought Process: "Hey, Deron has a tattoo on his arm that says DMW. I should make a comment mocking that. What would work? DMW...DMW...hey, Department of Motor Wehicles! Would that be funny enough? Possibly."

*pauses*

"I hate you so much."

-"Boozer just throws Horry to the ground."

JVG: "HE DIDN'T THROW HIM."

*shows replay*

*sounds of laughter*

-Jazz cut it to 5. Believe it or not, they've made progress in this quarter. It's the power of the Powder Blue. Positive thinking through colors.

-TaterBro: "i bet if the jazz fans did the wave, it would be the first time it looked like the real thing" See, being unfunny runs in the family.

-Harpring in for Boozer, some potential for hijinks in the last minute of the half.

-Fisher just hit his third field goal of the series, but I assure you, it was clutch.

-And the Jazz are only down 4 at halftime. To take you through the break, I present you with a brief song, to the tune of "Right Now":

Light Blue
We're sitting in the stands
Light Blue
We're clapping with our hands
Light Blue
We're easily satisfied fans
Light Blue
We're wearing powder blue
Light Blue
Threat'ning colors we eschew
Light Blue
'til the San Antonio sweep is through

Harp sucks
Harp sucks
Harp sucks
Harp sucks

-Over to Kicks.