Game 2 Quarter 1: Prelude to the first gunfight at the ESA

Tater has demanded Lady Kicky and I do a joint-liveblog. We'll see how this goes as I type in completely uncensored comments she makes, even when they involve insults to my manhood. We may end up broken up by the end of the live-blog

Fisher not starting again. Lady Kicky hypothesizes this is due to "suckitude." She only looks slightly ashamed upon learning about undisclosed family issues.

Lady Kicky giggles uncontrollably everytime Stephen Jackson is on screen because of how clearly he looks like a thug. "He even makes jumping up and down look menacing."

Lady Kicky thinks Sloan's pink tie is a too-late attempt to turn into a kindler gentler Sloan after allegations of rampant tractor mis-use.

Deron Williams is out with 2 fouls after less than a minute of play. For a minute I thought Paul Millsap was playing point guard.

Lady Kicky is having audible orgasms upon seeing AK's hair tonight. Newly shaved on the sides and spiked into a peak. By the end of the playoffs he's going to look like some guy named Needles that you'd see in Greenwich Village in 1985.

Lady Kicky refuses to refer to Baron Davis as anything other than Moses because of his beard. I keep expecting him to raise his arms and part the defenders in the key.

Lady Kicky: "I'm no expert on basketball, but I am an expert on spiky hair - more specifically, I can expertly detect the effect of spiky hair on my heart. When my pulse flutters like a frightened rabbits, AK must be on the court. (This is actually a backwards compliment to sir kicky, who has spiky hair. My flirting is so subtle it is nigh undetectable.)"

Stephen Jackson runs like the cops are chasing him.

The announcing team comments that "Destiny favors the Warriors." Lady Kicky thinks it sounds like cheesy religious B-movie dialogue.

Lady Kicky: "Most people don't really look like what they are. For example, the person I am dating has a fairly unassuming exterior, but he is actually Kicky, God of Sex. (Note: I cannot now be guilted for cooing over Kirilenko's Mohawk. Note 2: Sir Kicky never engages in guilting, except for always.) In contrast to all those mysterious cloaked superheroes among us, Stephen Jackson looks EXACTLY like what he is: scary in a particular sketchy shady way. Like a jackal. I would say hyena, but I feel like jackals are more dangerous.

Stephen Jackson prison update: The justice system has granted him work furlough to play in this game. I'm really hoping at some point we get to see him on the floor as part of a chain gang in these playoffs.

Dee Brown and Mehmet Okur have crashed into each other and are writhing on the floor. That crash was one stooge short of a set.

Lady Kicky and I are arguing over whether Dee Brown is holding his wrist or his balls while lying on the floor.

Ironically, Frog Fisher might be a necessity in this game given that Williams has two fouls and Dee Brown ate floor. Right now AK is playing point guard. I don't know if I'm thrilled or scared.

AK is playing like a man with a max contract. Oh wait, we should be expecting that on a regular basis.

Lady Kicky is theorizing AK's level of play is directly related to the length of his mohawk.

Matt Harpring apparently doesn't want Dee Brown's injury to be confused with his level of hustle, falls on the ground while committing a blocking foul for no reason.

Somehow the crowd being decked out entirely in periwinkle isn't having the intended intimidating effect.

Lady Kicky refuses to buy Coors Light ever again since they were joking about a pregnancy test being positive. For some reason she takes that pretty personally.

Lady Kicky: "Admittedly, I never drink Coors Light anyway."

I'm so glad TNT is reminding me that Tyler Perry stars in Tyler Perry's House of Payne. I was really worried it might star someone else.

Matt Harpring runs down the floor and raises both hands it the air. Quickly puts them down when he realizes he's on defense.

Lady Kicky is laughing uncontrollably at Stephen Jackson again. Ten years from now when he's lost all his money (and you know it's inevitable) I'm totally hiring him as a clown for her birthday.

Don Nelson clearly looking at Andrei Kirilenko as a point guard and thinking "why didn't I try something like that? That's exactly the sort of weirdness I'm known for executing."