Fourth quarter! Buckle up!
-Sirkickyass: You can be whomever you want out of that list for the 4th quarter. My plan is to engage in Bill Walton hyperbole and non-sequitors.
-Tater: Speaking of which, that was the greatest MLA in the history of western civilization. I think I give Fisher about 50% odds on hitting his next shot.
-Sirkickyass: 50%?! That might be a career high.
-Tater: Holla. Derek Fisher with the layup. I tell you, some players have veteran leadership, and Fisher is one of those players.
-Sirkickyass: Point #1) Some players also have herpes. Matt Harpring is one of those players.
Point #2) You made a Q-Bert joke and said "holla" in back to back posts. You're either being willfully lame in a Zach Braff in "Scrubs" kind of way or you've been attending the David Blaine school of comedy.
-Tater: I resent tha--zoinks! *pratfalls with arms full of assorted folders*
-Sirkickyass: This explains why Harpring started falling over randomly two seasons ago: he's a "Scrubs" fan.
-Tater: That and the fact that his knee looks like this:
I just did a Google Image Search for sponge, and received no porn. Surprising.
And how in heck was that not a shooting fall for Millsap?
-Sirkickyass: I just learned something from this broadcast I'd never heard before. Tater: Did you know that the game is 48 minutes long? Jeff Van Gundy thought it was very important to remind us of that.
-Tater: Does that mean a quarter is 12 minutes?
-Sirkickyass: If you shoot 38% on average for a 10 year career, how bad do you have to be playing for it to count as a slump?
-Tater: If you're named Derek Fisher, you don't have slumps. You just have less-clutch shots.
I really appreciated Sloan pulling AK and leaving Harp and Fisher out there, with the Spurs then getting five quick points as nobody on the Jazz seemed able to help on defense. You would think that lesson would have been learned after 90+ games this year. I have a suspicion if Pavlov did his experiments on Sloan, Sloan wouldn't salivate when a bell rang.
-Sirkickyass: Derek Fisher just ran out of bounds with the ball. On the bright side, at least he didn't shoot. Up until this point I thought that was his solution for every possible problem. Sort of like how Christopher Lowell solves all decorating problems by draping things. Ummmm....not that I watch those kind of shows.
-Tater: ...
Um. Yeah.
Finley just blew by Fisher for a reverse jam, with the ball hitting Fisher in the face on the follow-through, after which Fisher slumped his shoulders and hung his head. Isn't that something Sloan generally dislikes from players? Hanging their heads and the such?
-Sirkickyass: I work for a federal judge. My fellow law clerk is a man who is terminally boring and is so passive he probably couldn't kill a fly if he tried. For obvious reasons I mock him mercilessly about things he can't control (his cleft palate, his silly last name etc) when out of earshot of our boss. Interestingly this seems to have made him the submissive worker and it's allowed me to curry favor with the judge so that I'm the favored law clerk.
I only bring this up because I think that similar circumstances are the only explanation for why Derek Fisher continues to play big minutes over Ronnie Brewer.
Tater: Sorry, phased out with "fellow law clerk."
Harpring's continued presence in this game demands explanation. He has a.)not played defense on a single player that I have seen, b.)not hit a shot, c.)not thrown a good pass, and d.)been Matt Harpring. And he's played 20+ minutes.
In completely unrelated news, I'm trying to figure out which Jazz player should be Psyduck.
Sirkickyass: You know what I enjoyed more than watching this game?
That's what.
Also, any Pokemon related analogy needs to include Rafael Arujao as Snorelax.
-Tater: It's spelled "Snorlax." Jeez.*pushes glasses up with forefinger*
The Hindenburg analogy is particularly apt if you replace the passengers with Jazz fans and the burning hydrogen with hopes and dreams.
-Sirkickyass: Interesting Hindenberg-related fact: Part of the reason it burned so fast is because they painted the surface of the blimp with paint that happened to be made out of the same materials that we now use in jet fuel. OOOOOPS!
I think it's safe to call Jerry Sloan the paint on this game.
-Tater: OK, Williams has safely salvaged his game as a good one by inflating his stats with some late-fourth-quarter baskets. Perhaps someone should tell him there's not a rule against attacking the basket in the first three quarters.
Jazz down 0-2 in the series.
Fisher down 2-15.
Fin.
4 comments:
It also needs to be mentioned that everytime Bowen has hit a three this quarter, Harpring has been the one "guarding" him
Fish and Harp gave us 58 minutes of pure bliss tonight.
I'd be winning to handle 4th Q blogs, if you're desperate. I grew up without a TV, friends, or a left arm. I'm aight at Sudoku though.
*willing....
My fav moment of the 4th quarter was when Harpring managed to push Oberto off the ball, then gracefully fall over him. I'm unsure if he was a ballerina in a former life.
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