First Quarter: Missing Charles Barkley already.

10 minutes to tip-off and Lady Kicky and I have a few things to share with you.

First: This picture made Lady Kicky giggle for 2 solid minutes:




Second: The official over/under on number of times the Derek Fisher "drama" is mentioned during the game and half time show is officially at 165 and 1/2.

Third: We were as upset as everyone else to find out that some Jazz Fans called Stephen Jackson a terrible six letter word, a word that will live in infamy and that no one should ever suffer the injustice of being labeled with its perfidious stigma. On behalf of all Jazz Fans everywhere: Stephen, we're sorry we called you a MORMON.

I forgot that the upside to having the game broadcast on ESPN instead of TNT is that we get Stephen A. Smith doing Stephen A Smith things (I can't wait until he yells about something, oh wait that's the only volume he uses) and Jamal Mashburn displaying his David Letterman-esque tooth gap.

Speaking of upside, Hubie Brown is broadcasting from Oakland. He might be the only person more high on Ronnie Brewer than SJF. Oh wait...he feels that way about all players under the age of 25.

Derek Fisher is currently being interviewed on the sideline. The game hasn't even started yet and the Derek Fisher mention count is already at 4. Lady Kicky is getting out a pad of paper to keep track of mentions.

Derek Fisher misses his first shot of the game. Blames it on eye cancer. (I had to get it out once in this blog).

Seriously, I'm blogging with a heavy heart tonight.

Deron Williams gets a foul in the first minute again. Apparently he liked watching AK play point guard the other night too.

Lady Kicky is worried that Al Harrington has co-opted the Derek Fisher "point to the sky" motion after hitting a shot. She's blissfully unaware teams have been crediting God for their wins for decades. Interestingly they never make the arg, God punished the other team by making them lose for being heathens.

Apparently there's something in the water in Oakland that makes everyone want to shoot 3 pointers. Given that Stephen Jackson lives there it might be blood.

Lady Kicky wants to know if it's inconsistent to point to the sky to thank God for your play and simultaneously foul a man that looks like Moses.

ESPN has some meter in the corner of the screen. I can't tell if it's measuring the noise level or Don Nelson's BAC.

Lady Kicky is glad to know that 20,000 Oakland fans believe in the Comcast corporation.

The entire crowd dressing in gold seems too monochromatic for the bay area. How gauche.

AK made a basket a moment ago. Lady Kicky nearly fainted from heart palpitations.

AK is playing point guard again! This is making me far more excited than it should.

Harpring shoots on his first offensive play down the floor. No one is stunned.

Stephen Jackson mugs AK, runs off with Masha's free pass.

Stephen Jackson with three personal fouls in the first 8 minutes and an undisclosed number of party fouls in the Bay Area last night.

Lady Kicky believes that Monta Ellis has an invisible accent over the "a" in his name because Hubie Brown keeps calling him "Mon-tay." She really wants to see Barkley try and say his name on TNT's "How you say that?!" game.

Harpring shoots an airball. To be fair, you don't hit the rim in football either.

I, Madam Kicky, have something to say about pregnancy: It's not funny. It's not funny at all. I find The Hiv, genocide, autism, necrophilia, bestiality, and eye cancer incredibly humourous but folks, you just can't joke about some things, and the failure of birth control is just tasteless humour. Refrain, please. Be classy.

Wow, she sees one ad for the film "Knocked Up" and threatens to throw something at the television. I'm half tempted to take her to the movie just to see how much property damage she can cause.

Hubie Brown is making the argument that Monta Ellis is as good as Chris Paul. As good at drinking pee maybe.

I'm convinced if Kirilenko and Matt Barnes' haircuts collided a fusion of awesome so massive would occur that the world might never recover.

AK suddenly started hitting jump shots. KOC is wondering if he's tradable now this summer or if the fan base would crucify him on the basis of the last 4 games.

Hubie Brown is talking about Paul Millsap's ability to "jump out at you." The last time someone that looked that old was talking about things jumping at me I was watching "Tales from the Crypt."

Turning over to Lady Kicky to start the 2nd.