Quarter 2: "Only Because I Have To"

Wow, what a mess. Good thing the Jazz are known for strong second quarters.

After checking up on some message boards, it appears that this will be AK's last game in a Jazz uniform before he gets traded for Kobe. Enjoy these last 36 minutes, fans.

I wonder if Kobe reads books before the game.

Also, I wonder if Kobe makes stupid passes across the perimeter.

My phone rings. I rush over to answer it. It's an automated message explaining that I can increase my credit limit on one of my cards. I begin to hang up, glance back at the television, then change my mind and opt for a less painful death.

The Jazz performance in this game so far is actually making me long for a few seconds of "RIGHT NOW!"

ESPN obliges. I have chosen...poorly.

From chat:
‹The Pearl› RIGHT NOW
‹The Pearl› RIGHT NOW
‹The Pearl› RIGHT NOW
‹The Pearl› RIGHT NOW
He has officially gone [more] insane.

Fisher just called in: "Uhh, remember how I said I'd be able to make an appearance in the 4th quarter? I, umm, my plane is, err...unforseen circumstances have...umm...I'm breaking *cough* up here *cough*..."

Kobe watching his new team from home. Thinking: "I totally would have [taken and] made that shot. And that one. And THAT one." I can't wait to see him and Harpring battle over not passing.

Second Half Live Blog Cancellation Status: True Blue.

(HarpringSucks'ers currently standing around the lions' den arguing about who should be the next to be thrown in. Surprisingly no one is volunteering themselves.)

To draw an analogy, watching this game so far has been like...like watching a competent team dismantle a much less competent team.

Jazz currently on pace to lose by 44.5 points. Steve Javie will inevitably be blamed for the score not ending in a whole number.

Sloan has officially thrown in the Ronnie Brewer. Err, towel.

Jackson explains to us that wrapping your arms around someone is good defense and should result in a jump ball. Inspired, on the next defensive play, Deron attempts to "tie up" Tony Parker.

Wonder if there will be a jump ball called during Tony and Eva's wedding night "celebration".

Honestly, I have no idea what I'm even saying anymore. I'm just opening my virtual mouth and letting randomness spew out. Like AK in a post-game interview.

On an unrelated note, I kind of feel that my fellow bloggers have reached their peak for this year.

Based on the first couple of defensive "stands" after a timeout, I can only imagine that the strategy went something like this:
Jerry: "Let's mix it up a little, pack things in, let them beat us with the 3."
Two minutes later..."Oh wait...right. @#$%."

NBA execs looking at a lineup of Dee, Hoffa, Memo, AK, and Brewer and feeling pretty good about the Spurs advancing to the finals.

FISHER IS ON THE WAY!!!

Let's see, a shot every .4 seconds in the second half is...14,400 points.

Bordy completes his lap and sees no one waiting for the baton. He lays it on the track and shuffles away, not looking back.