TaterMoog: "Blowout Liveblogs suck."
TaterBro: "at least you only have to do 4 of them"
-And now, a lyrical analysis of "Right Now," by the PussyCat Dolls:
Right nowNotice the tension between the subject matter of the song--obviously, a basketball game--and its metaphoric content, a tender love letter to a romantic partner who is apparently having problems with commitment: "don't you leave me at the post" and so on. Truly the PussyCat Dolls have transcended the usual boundaries of the pop song.
Let me take you by the hand
Right now
Put your lips at my command
Right now
Fly me off to lovers land
Baby
Don't you leave me at the post
Kiss me
You can feel it coast to coast
Right now
Where they need your love the most
Notice here the daring risks taken in the lyrics. Rhyming "fire" with "desire" is a novel idea never before broached by musicians. Also, notice the jarring contradiction in "stars" stumbling from the "blue," juxtaposing the elements of night and day, thereby also juxtaposing the fundamental opposition between the two lovers.
You have set my soul on fire
Only you can satisfy this great desire
Right now
Let the fool world break in two
Right now
Stars can stumble from the blue
Right now
Just as long as I'm with you
Excuse me while I swoon in pure poetic ecstasy.
Uh huh
Uh huh
Uh huh
Uh huh
-TaterBro: "does it still count as points in the paint if they use clearcoat varnish instead?"
He works in a woodshop. *sigh*
-50 Cent now pimping Vitamin Water. It's better than his past experience at pimping, I guess.
-I've just been informed that Federer beat Nadal today. I'll guess it was in...curling? Damned if I know.
-The Jazz have two players shooting 50%: Andrei and Giricek, 1-2 apiece. The rest are shooting 33% or worse. The Spurs have four players shooting less than 50%: Barry, Vaughn, Bowen, and Finley, 0-1 apiece. All the rest are shooting 66.6% or better. That spells trouble.
-I hope ABC debuts their "Sitting Behind Some Drunk Bastard Cam" in the next quarter, wherein the cameraman just films the back of a fat man for a few minutes while the teams play on the court.
-I hope Kicky's enjoying his Orange Mocha Frappucinos as he gets his chest waxed before his manicure.
-I don't have a clue what just happened. AK caught the ball, went up, and then Deron had the ball 10 feet from the basket. I think I just had a seizure.
-3-0 run for the Jazz, only a 15-point game.
-MLA from Fisher after a spinning hook shot attempt from Boozer. How do the Jazz keep missing all these high-percentage shots?
-TaterBro: "water moccasins?"
WATER MOCCASINS!
-AK with three goaltends now. He's now scored more points for the other team than he has for his own.
-If I'm not mistaken, SA's PA system is currently playing "Who Are You?" Conveniently, it started up right after Jarron Collins entered the game.
-Duncan hammers Jarron Collins before he makes the easy layup. Wait...what?
-AK just flailed a 3.
-They've got the big inflatable Spurs mascot on the floor. The Jazz respond by getting Okur off the bench.
-Jazz fastbreak: Deron grabs it, drives one-on-three, loses ball, Boozer thinks it's a pass, tries to pick it up, loses ball through legs, Millsap picks it up, lays in a tricky shot over two defenders. That was probably one of the best results for a Jazz fastbreak this season.
-Jazz on a 19-16 run in this quarter, have cut it to a 15-point game. Should have it tied in 5 more quarters.
-Great shot. Fisher gets a foul, camera cuts to Sloan getting Giricek off the bench, who runs to check in the game. In the background, Sloan runs a hand through his hair, stares at the floor, looks dejected.
-Mark Jackson just gave a little soliloquy talking about how Sloan has to be happy with the quarter, probably telling his team to play this way and they'll be fine. They have cut the halftime lead down by 5 and it is down to 13. I think they might need to play a little bit better in the next quarter, too, Mark.
-Balki just drove through the entire Utah team and laid it in the basket. That's pretty ridiculous.
-Balki then comes back and hits a one-handed running floater from the free-throw stripe. One of those skills you learn at Mepos.
-The Jazz have cut it to 16 after three. I'm too busy being distracted by the ugly PussyCat Doll to notice.
No, the other ugly one.
No, the other ugly one.
No, the other ugly one.
No, the other ugly one.
There you go.
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