Quarter the third: We fought the law and the law won

Nothing encapsulates this game more than this song:



Replace "woman" with "Jazz" and "man" with "Spurs" and I think you get the picture.

I went a little ballistic on the pre-game stuff, so Madame will be handling most of your jokes, I mean commentary, tonight. This blog has journalistic integrity.

I prefer to buy new books because I don't like my books sneaking around behind my back and letting other people read them. I'm a jealous reader. Madame Kicky likes to get books at the library because she likes to picture the books waiting around for years on a shelf just for her to come along. We can't decide who's view on this is more narcissistic.

P.S. It's hers

22:24:09 ‹The Pearl› Fisher is like your fringe friend you invite to a party out of a sense of obligation. He doesn't show up for about an hour and you think you are home free. All of a sudden he shows and everybody stands around awkwardly

Does anyone else envision Stephen A. Smith doing a line of coke during every commercial break?

We have our first mention of "eye cancer." Tatermoog wins the Harpringsucks pool for picking 9 minutes into halftime.

Madame Kicky and I can't decide if the game will be better after drinking Vanilla Cognac or Godiva White Chocolate Liqueur.

A list of things we like better than watching this loss: babies (live ones too! UGH!), talking to Madame's mother, going to church, law school, eating airline food, talking to telemarketers for hours about their personal lives, and Ross Perot.

It appears Derek Fisher is making a big difference. The deficit is exactly what it was at halftime.

Mark Jackson just got surprisingly angry about Utah's defense. It was like he had a Nam flashback or something.

I lied. Derek Fisher is making a big difference. The lead is getting bigger.

I'm 90% sure Fisher told the referee "You're blinder than my daughter!"

Oh yeah, skip the above joke if you're easily offended.

Madame Kicky wants everyone to know that if AK leaves she's jumping ship.

I wonder if we could trade Fisher and Harpring for a couple of used balls?

Madame Kicky is currently performing the best girlfriend service of all time. Not that you sicko! She stands with the mute button at the ready in case it looks like the Pussycat Dolls are ready to sing.

How did Gordan Giricek end up in America? His face demands he perpetually be in movies about starving poor people. Those features should always be smeared with ashes and coal dust.

Rafael Arujao just entered the game. This is literally his last chance to impress people before his contract expires. If this was a movie, he'd rally the Jazz right now. In reality, he's going to be impressing some scouts for the European teams.

Giricek just travelled. Madame Kicky is inventing a heartwarming yarn abouthim watching his wife's face get kicked in by a jackboot. I have no idea what a jackboot is but apparently that makes it more violent and heartbreaking than a regular boot.

They just showed Tony Parker Sr. sitting next to Eva Longoria. He looked bored like he's had WAY hotter women before. He is french you know.

22:48:31 ‹IzeOfLight› I find Hoffa strangely attractive.

Don't we all. Don't we all.

At least we'll leave this game with our dignity. I mean, it's not like it was a blowout or anything.

Right now the Spurs are Ivan Drago and we're Apollo Creed.

This is really a good thing for the NBA. All season I've been hearing people talk about how they really wanted to see San Antonio win their fourth title in a decade.

Next time Derek Fisher enters a game in the middle of a quarter he needs to pay off the arena MC to play Kanye West's "Jesus Walks" as he enters the arena.

On the positive side, at least we're cleaning out our lockers in late May this year.

Madame Kicky can't believe that Rafael Arujao made a free throw. To be fair, Arujao looks pretty stunned himself.

I think Oberto holds his hair back with a rubber band. Either that or it's some kind of mini-khaki colored head band. Either way, I'm sure he has John Amaechi on speed-dial.

I don't know who's doing the fourth, but it turns out that turning this over to Madame Kicky never happened.