I'd like it to be duly noted that I style myself "Madame Kicky" for the stated reason that I love the red lipstick, Belle Watling-style sleaze of the name. It's a nice change for a relatively mousy-looking law school student. An entire secret life opens before me. Hence, I reject the Sir's attempt to domesticate me with the tame "Lady Kicky." Madame I was christened and Madame I remain.
So, I tried to talk Kicky into modelling his new haircut after my darling Andrei. Alas, he burbled on about "interviews" and some other kind of justifications, but I stopped listening because no possible explanation could justify refraining from the semi-hawk.
Also, I was almost outraged enough to throw Kicky out of the house when he reveaed that at some point this year he declared AK "dead to him." He then became dead to me. He is as a zombie now, in terms of his standing in my affections.
Moses has God on his side. Quick, Fisher, start pointing skyward! We need the points! I think God will tune out Fisher for the sake of Moses though. Moses has the same angsty eyebrow motion that Jesus has in illustrated children's bibles.
Kicky is listening to the sportscaster and points out that Hubie Brown has been speaking in second person for like two minutes.
Harpring football mention! "An outstanding quarterback!" and illustrated graphic with, I might add, mention of the exact score histories of his family. It's been several minutes and they haven't linked his football performance to great skill in BASKETBALL. Telling.
Sir Kicky is rescuing everyone from my sports ignorance. Adieu, dear reader.
Moses fell over. Lady Kicky is theorizing the sweat print is analogous to the print left in blood on Jesus' death shroud. The ballboy that mops that thing up is going straight to heaven!
I'm convinced that when Matt Barnes dies they should skin him before burying him. In the future, his tattoo patterns will be analyzed with the same fervor our archeologists give Stonehenge today.
They're letting us all know that Dirk Nowitzki was the MVP this season. Seems a bit cruel to announce this during the Warriors game doesn't it? Why not just stamp "failure" on his forehead while you're at it?
Lady Kicky keeps looking at AK and eyeing my head. I'm worried if I fall asleep around her I may wake up with a shaved head.
ESPN is attempting to counter the Derek Fisher karma by running a long puff piece on Baron Davis' grandmother. She apparently wants him to shave his Moses beard. He still has it. In related news, we can tell how much he loves her.
Golden State is currently on pace to shoot 51 3-pointers in this game. Trying their damndest to avoid the free throw line this time around.
Stephen Jackson is checking back in the game. The camera zoomed in on him while he was tucking his shirt in. He gave the camera man a murderous grin like he was mad at him for playing peeping Tom or something.
Utah has 14 turnovers so far this half. Charles Barkley has eaten an equivalent number of apple turnovers in the same period of time.
Do you think Charles just has an expense account at Krispy Kreme at this point?
Lady Kicky points out that it might not be a coincidence that the camera focused on Harpring while Hubie Brown went on a long explanatory statement beginning with "Basic basketball demands that you...." We're betting they re-run the football graphic when they come back from commercial.
Matt Harpring committed a moronic foul by practically tackling his man on defense. His angry inch is showing.
ESPN ran a number of pictures of a young Don Nelson. Lady Kicky described these as "Don Nelson when he was cute." I knew her being attracted to me was a little ridiculous but now I'm realizing how low her standards are.
Supposedly Boozer is on the floor, but I've yet to see evidence of his existence.
Golden State winning by 11 and dunking at will. At this rate Ronnie Brewer may see some non-emergency playing time.
Hubie Brown just delievered a paternal pat on the head to Andris Biedrins by speaking fondly of him by saying "he's growing up!" I suspect he's smoking a pipe and wiping a tear away from his eye right now. During time-outs he proably is asking what Wally and the Beav are up to.
Lady Kicky just figured out that the announcers weren't being dirty when they talked about the Warriors double-teaming Boozer. I'm so proud.
I'm thinking it's time to have Haffa throw a chair on the court and see if he can start a riot or something. I'm betting the Golden State crew is far more likely to go nuts and get suspended for the rest of the series.
Ronnie Brewer is in the game! Of course he missed a free throw so Sloan is likely to use that as an excuse to cut his playing time in the Rocky Mountain Revue next season.
Hubie shows why he won Coach of the Year a few seasons back by giving us the deep analysis of "Boozer has to get involved." Thanks Hubie. That really was insightful.
Lady Kicky is hypothesizing that Boozer only plays well when the games are on TNT because he's trying to impress Charles Barkley. This, combined with her earlier revelation about the word "double-team" really makes me wonder if we're watching the same game.
Golden State is currently shooting a higher percentage on 3 pointers than they are on 2 pointers. Jerry Sloan may have to re-evaluate his "pack the lane" philosophy.
This second quarter reminds of that episode of Saved by the Bell were Kelly Kapowski goes on a date with 4 football players at once. Zach Morris (in this case, jazz fans) had such high hopes for their chances to score with the hot chick (win the game), but there's just too many sketchy looking dudes ready to date rape her at the drop of a hat. Also, Harpring sucks.
I'm passing the torch to YB. Although given his chat room commentary he may start the 3rd quarter late because he's going to have to deal with cleaning up his own vomit first.
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